National Breastfeeding Week!

There's always so much dust stirred up in the mama world around the breastfeeding issue, probably because it's very important and also very personal.

In our house, though, it's simply breakfast, lunch and dinner! Over the past 8 years, I've breastfed about 7 of those years, and it's a decision I'd make all over again in a heartbeat. I've also tandem nursed (nursed two babes at once), and extended breastfed my older three. They weaned at ages 3, 4 and 3. Electra, of course, is currently nursing. While some might call that freakish, we simply call it "life". Thanks to my sweet four girlies for being such precious babies, to my husband for being so supportive and nurturing of his kids and to my own mom for breastfeeding me when I was small. I'm also grateful to my veteran mamas friends and my midwife for being my "tribe" and helping me understand that I could trust my own instincts.

My first week of breastfeeding was hell on a stick, I won't lie. I didn't understand the mechanics, I tried to "schedule" my baby (the foolishness and folly of that still make me chuckle) and, well, I was a young'un myself, practically. However, I discovered there was a learning curve, and after that, I appreciated all the many benefits that came from sticking with it. (By the time my 2nd daughter was born, it was a cakewalk. They handed me baby, baby latched easily and mama was blissed out while eating steak with one hand and texting loved ones birth stats in the other. Gotta love an experienced mind and body. XoD)

Even if you chose not to breastfeed, or are a guy and can't XoP, the next time you see a tired looking mama giving nurture and life to her wee one (especially if she's parenting others simultaneously), instead of looking down your nose at the face of life in motion, applaud her and thank her for making the world a better place. :O)

In the words of John C.S. Abbott, "Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined". 

What could be sweeter and more powerful than supporting and approving of a mother who is performing the quiet act of simply nourishing her child's body and heart? If you're looking for a leverage point in society to bring about positive change in the world, you've found it! Healthy bonds, secure children, strong bodies, strong hearts. Viva la Vida!!

Recovering from upheaval-13 things that help our family!

I thought this topic might be timely for some, considering all the global and local unrest and emotional yuck that's floating around right now. :) Big moves, family changes, births, tragedies, loss of a pet, and larger scale disaster can necessitate a little extra lovin'. Here are some ideas that have worked swimmingly for us that I've collected over the years (most through trial and error), to bring comfort and emotional healing/equilibrium!

1. The power of smell! If you love essential oils, or just nice scents, this may be helpful for your family! (Obviously, only use them in dilution, and be sensitive to any allergies you may have). Our favorites for supporting calm are lavender, rose and chamomile; our favorites for mood boosting are grapefruit, sweet orange, bergamot and mint. Our favorite delivery method is water: either a few drops in a small spray bottle or a few drops in a nice warm bath. If essential oils aren't your thing, you could always make your favorite fragrant meal, let your child sleep with a tshirt on that smells like you, or bake a family favorite treat. Smells are powerful emotional triggers, and potentially very comforting.

Another natural approach you might try is Rescue Remedy and, for major upheaval, Star of Bethlehem flower essence...a friend recommended it to us a while back, and it seems to have a positive effect.

2. Make a Plan. One of the favorites mottoes I ever stole was one from Jeff VanVonderen in his book Families Where Grace is in Place: "Our family is a problem solving family." Identify what IS within your power and control, make a plan with your family, and follow through. For example, our girls have felt very uneasy with our daily travel roads being in upheaval from tornado activity, and they feel worried for the people whose homes have been demolished. So, we made a plan: see what we can do to volunteer, decide what our resources are, chart out our week ahead of time so there are no surprises (or at least discuss each day what we'll be doing).

3. Relax your expectations. Expect and anticipate a little bit of out of bounds behavior from everyone in the family, and do your best to meet it with patience and reassurance. While actually doing away with normal rules and boundaries is unhelpful, reinforcing those boundaries with patience and not exasperation goes a long way. That goes for you, too; grown ups need as much grace as small people. Love and understanding begets love and understanding, so try your best to use loving language and touch with those closest to you. (This is what I struggle the most with, and, as fate would have it, the most effective!)

4. Plan a little something frivolous. It doesn't need to be expensive or fancy, and the lower key, the better. Take off all expectations and pressure. (Sometimes, the best moments like this are the ones that just happen, unplanned, so be open to them when they present themselves!) Just make it enjoyable and interesting for everyone; it could just be checking out for a while and taking a nice, long walk together. Be a little silly; don't worry about capturing anything on camera or perfectionism-let your inner monkey run a little wild and forget your worries for half an hour or more. Pillow fights work fantastically, and make for lots of laughter. :O)

5. Try to eat well. Again, nothing gourmet, but people who feel well act better...so ditch the sugar, stay hydrated, and eat some veg, complex carbs and protein. Try to stay close to the food source (aka, not processed)Your body and moods will thank you.

6. Go to bed on time. Kids benefit from this- calms forte, a small low-sugar snack, a warm quiet bath or chammomile tea can help make reality. Adults can pull out the bigger guns and try a hot bath, herbal sleep support, melatonin or a nice glass of wine! Sleep helps us process traumas, heal our bodies, replenish exhausted adrenal glands and (my husband will tell you readily) improves the mood. Even if you have little ones that make sleep tricky, you can still resist the urge to stay up and watch t.v. after they've dozed. Sleep is your friend and ally.

7. Massage/Cosleeping/snuggling. You don't even have to be any good at it; just bust out the bottle of lotion or oil and bless yourself and your family with a good, healthy touch session. (Obviously, don't force anyone who's especially sensitive to over-stimulation. ) Avoid putting pressure on bony areas, use smooth connected strokes, warm towels can help, and enjoy! It will raise the energy of everyone involved, and bring a sense of connection and calm. Sleeping together also helps re-enforce family connections. You share reaffirming touch with a close friend (meal-sharing or shared walks work, too) or with a pet, as well. Everyone benefits. Win-win!

8. Prayer and meditation. Give yourself space to cry out for help and process what you're feeling. Give your mind time to just BE.

9. Music.

10. Go outside! The calming, centering benefits of being among

birds and fresh air and trees are both documented and common sense. No crowded playgrounds or busy sidewalks; the less intensity and man-made structures, the better. The more extroverted among us can benefit from taking a friend along!

11. Unplug the News. Children need lots of time and play to process, and hearing endless loops of heartwrenching stories is beyond their capacity to handle, emotionally. (It's not so helpful for adults, either!) Model being a friend to those in need, listen to real people's stories, but don't invite a constant replay into your home and car.

12. Processing is a process. Children may want to talk about the details of what is effecting them over and over and over. Listen to them as they talk about it on their own time frame. Don't make value judgements about what they chose to share. More importantly, listen to and even participate in their pretend play at this time; it will give you insight into their emotional state. Find someone who can listen to you, too, or journal to release some of the sharpness of the emotional memory and to ground your mind.

13. Twofold, depending on personality:

Ditch perfectionism. You've just been through something taxing. Be kind to yourself and your family, and let go of some of your unreasonable expectations. Some television won't kill anyone. You can let a few unnecessary goals and tasks slide until you gather your wits a bit. It's OK to recognize that you need to rest. Resist the urge to moralize your difficulty to your family or preach at them. It's OK to lose some rigidity in order to not snap.

and on the flip side:

Be in tune with need for rhythm. Notice when your loved ones may benefit from a little more predictability and structure, and rise to the occasion. If your normal M.O. is complete bohemian lifestyle, unfettered by schedule, do recognize your family's natural need for rhythm. Predictability enforces feelings of safety and security for little ones, even if it feels counterintuitive...your family and your sanity will thank you for going through the motions. Bedtime routines, regular eating, notice ahead of time before being whisked from one activity to another are all helpful.

Birth Kit

Finally got everything together this past weekend, and picked up our La Bassine at my MW appointment on Mon. *grin* She'll bring the hoses with her when she comes (and, as I say that, I'm singing it to the tune of "She'll be coming 'round the mountain". It's important that you get a good aural picture of that, so you'll need to sing it for yourself.)




I'll see if I can list everything correctly...

-giant PP pads for the first couple of days
-a package of overnight pads (for the next several days). The new enormous "Always" are just amazing, I hear.
-PP cloth pads
-non-latex gloves
-gauze
-lubricant
-alcohol wipes
-emergency pitocin
-emergency methergine
-betadine scrub
-peri bottles
-hibiclens
-quite a few chux pads
-nasal aspirator
-sexy mesh panties *waggling eyebrows*
-vit K (in case of rough birth, not sure if we'll use it)
-arnica oil
-heat pad
-AfterEase tincture (for after pains, WishGarden)
-extra strength Tylenol and Motrin, which can be staggered after birth ;)
-Baby Blues mood tincture (WishGarden)
-Bottom spray
-cloth breast pads
-newborn hats
-cord clamp
-herbs for sitz baths
-birth tub liner
-shower curtain
-Spanx-type girdle for gut/abdominal support afterward, until muscle separation heals

To debunk the funny head trip of me going to town with a giant cart at local medical supply store, or worse, being a masked pregnant bandit in the middle of the night at the local maternity ward, I'll tell you that I ordered most of my basic birth supplies from Baby, Birth and Beyond, and the pool liner from YourWaterBirth.)

We'll also have bendy straws, energy drinks/juice, plenty of ice, gallon freezer bags (for cold packs if we need them, and the placenta afterward), easy to digest snacks (I might go buy and hide some granola and popsicles for myself ahead of time giggle), vitamin C, and lots of clean towels. And a sheet of cheap plastic to put between the pool and bathroom.

-*and* an overnight bag packed for the girlies (to go to hotel nearby with gramma), and an emergency one for us, in case of transport. Also, a new, riveting long movie on standby for the kiddos, just in case things get intense before my parents get here.

-all camera batteries charged and memory cards ready to go.


Nate's and my to-do list at the onset of labor:

-do a clean sweep of the house (should only take 20min), and toss any dirty towels in the wash
-situate furniture in bedroom, and set up pool
-call MW
-call parents to pick up the girls (we'll have 2 hours before they get here)
-bake a birthday cake with the girls (knock on wood) as an early labor project
-shower, if I haven't already.
-relax and joke around while we still can.


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In other news:

I've almost got our labor music playlist compiled...I'll list the songs we picked later this week for funsies.

My visit to Debi (my wonderful midwife) went well on Monday. My blood pressure was on the low side of normal (113/76, I think?), which is good. I'd managed to only gain one pound in the past 10 days, which is an accomplishment for me this late in the game! Urine sample good. Baby in a perfect labor position, excepting being high and floating, which I suspected. (For what it's worth, I've never had a baby of mine be engaged at my last prenatal appointment!)

I'm contracting quite a bit, which is normal in the last few weeks for a third time mama. They tend to either be short and 6 minutes apart for a few hours every night, or 10 minutes apart lasting almost 2min in duration. I think it's fair to say it's one well toned muscle at this point. :OP

My children are recovering from the fever/sniffles they had earlier this week. (with lots of love, rest, vitamins, tea, water, steam, probiotics and garlic. Can we say, "Mommy's really concerned about being sick this close to the due date"?)


And, finally, I've just consumed half a pineapple. It was well worth the $3 splurge. I think I may need to get another one this evening. Rawwwwwrmmmmm!