Sunday, February 22, 2009

Can we just be *!&#^@# DONE, already??

Ashley's 20 Ways not to break down into hysteria every five minutes in the last two weeks of pregnancy:

-Take a long bath with lavender in it.

-Obsess over something silly, like scrubbing down the baseboards.

-Immerse thyself in a new and engaging tv series, preferably a long one with episodes that can be watched back to back.

-Compile a labor music cd. Even if you end up not wanting music, the endorphins released during listening to good music post-partum can help kick depression. ;o)

-Allow your children to doodle all over your belly with paint or markers. We call it "tattoo parlor". The non-clingy human contact is also endorphin releasing!

-Take pictures of said belly decorating endeavor. <3

-Play with your 2yo's hair while she sleeps.

-Keep a astonishingly detailed record of birth prep. in a journal. (Check. *blush*)

-Try to figure out how many kinds of herbal tea you can sardine into one day's consumption. (Thus far, we have RRL (uterine toner), dandelion (swelling and PUPPS), nettle (iron), chamomile (for calming me down) and tangerine...that one's for funsies.

-Brainstorm ways that to connect with your 4yo, even if answering one more question feels like the end of the world.

-Plan a birth project. Ours for early labor is baking a birthday cake with our kiddos...we picked devil's food, dark chocolate icing and pastel flower sprinkles. ;OP

-Figure out a way to reach your toenails and paint those puppies.

-Walk. It's good for positioning, and, again, endorphins.

-Let yourself cry. I prefer doing so in the shower, and not dwelling on any specific negative thought (lest I spiral completely down the toilet of anger and self pity). Just crying and letting my exhaustion *be*...and imagining it swirling down the drain with the water.

-Keeping the towels clean and folded with shocking ferocity and diligence.

-Think of seasonal chores that will be tricky to do with a newborn, and doing them in advance (such as changing out the kid's heavy winter clothing for warmer weather garb).

-Silly blog entries, such as this one.

-Reading halfway interesting chapter books to my children...and getting lost in their pretend world.

-Playing "dodge the mirror". Seriously. Don't look at yourself. You'll feel sorry for yourself and began to weep.

-Go yardsaling. Buy several boxes of cheap, colored glasses. Hurl them against a brick wall and listen to the glass shattering until you feel better. Then, sweep up the pieces and make a nice mural. (my current coping fantasy, thank you very much)


  1. You're so funny and creative! I will use all of these tools to help pass the time!!! Im so excited for you and cant wait to hear all about your little one! (thats part of my list of what to do to help pass time! ;-